What types of people will you *really* meet at a swingers party?
I stumbled across this article the other day and just shook my head. Written by a young American woman about her first (and no doubt only) experience in visiting a swingers party in Hollywood (of all places!), I was dismayed to think of the many readers (probably young females) who would have taken her words as a definitive guide as to the type of people who attend sex parties. It doesn’t even sound like the writer went to a typical swingers party either.
I don’t completely disagree with some of the writer’s observations (there are always one or two voyeur guests, as are reluctant participants) but categorising swingers party guests into what I felt were largely negative stereotypes was a big disservice to newbie swingers as well as brave single ladies (unicorns) who may have considered swingers parties to be a fun night out. Such was my dismay that I decided to post my own write-up on the types of people who attend a typical swingers party.
Now, I’ve been to many (many…) swingers parties both in Australia and overseas so I’d like think I can impart a more realistic view of the types of guests you are likely to encounter. Most parties that I have attended tend to be more organic with no fixed schedule of events during the night. Some did provide entertainment, but for most part, guests entertained each other (both socially and sexually). To be honest, most swingers parties are like any other backyard or apartment party except clothes eventually become optional. And the guests? Here are what I think are the types of people at a swingers party:
The Experienced
These couples need no explanation as to what goes on at a swingers party, even if parties differ from organiser to organiser. They know that some parties start with a bang whereas others muster a whimper at best. They are experienced enough to make the most of any swingers party situation, sometimes becoming the life of the party themselves. Experienced couples move from newbie couples to other experienced folk with ease. Some are less extroverted than others but either way, if there is action to be had (and wanted), these are the people who will go home with a smile on their faces.
The Newbies
It’s not hard to spot new couples at a swingers party. Quite often, these absolute beginners really are that; having decided to throw themselves into the deep end by going to a party rather than first meet couples online. Pretty much like deers in front of a headlight, they aren’t sure what to do at a party. If the party doesn’t have a helpful host to help them mingle, this couple may end up in the same corner for most of the night until they surreptitiously make a move for the exit. The more social newbie couple may initiate conversation in the hope it’s not misconstrued as a come-on. It’s not easy being a newbie.
The Voyeur
I agree with the above-mentioned article’s author in that there is often at least one voyeuristic couple that are content to just watch the proceedings of others. These couples aren’t necessarily new to swinging either. Many fall into the ‘Experienced’ category but they simply get their kicks out of watching other people have sex. They may or may not end up having sex at the party. For most part, voyeurs know how to do what they do without annoying people and can easily be asked to move along if an audience isn’t desired. Especially if there’s an exhibitionist couple in the house, The Voyeur is a welcome guest.
The Friends-With-Benefits Couple
While swingers are still by and large comprised of couples who are life partners (ie – they have each other written down as ‘Next of Kin’ on various forms), it’s not unusual to meet swinging singles who have partnered up to attend a swingers party. Most organisers take no issue with this pairing as long as they conduct themselves like any other couple at the party, and it’s clear that both friends are happy to be there. It does however help if both friends are socially confident and on the same page as each other in terms of what they want to achieve at a swingers party. On the other hand, that goes for life partner couples too!
The Socialites
If you frequent the same swingers party over time, you’ll probably notice some couples who don’t seem to do anything other than… socialise. Of course, there is nothing wrong with this; no one wants to pressure people into playing at a party. However, you can’t help but wonder why. Some couples simply like to attend swingers parties to make new friends and save the sexual action for a more intimate surrounding such as their own home or hotel suite. Socialising is a lot of fun but some swingers can actually be quite shy in terms of playing and prefer to limit the number of people who see them naked.
So there you have it. This is what I feel is a more accurate list of typical swingers party guests. What do you think? Do you fall into these categories or have I missed you?
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